What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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