If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
