so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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