If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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