I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
