Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
