I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
