you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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