We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
