It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
