I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
