One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
