dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
