what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
