you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
