Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
