worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
