She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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