You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
