He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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