i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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