I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
