she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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