He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
