Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
