You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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