I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
