3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
