I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize