So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
