a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you win again, gameday.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
