haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
