I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
