Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
