you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
