I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
