dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
