counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
