I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
