Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just had sex bonerless
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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