It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
