It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What drink are we having for lunch?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
