And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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