your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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