don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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