You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
