So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
