I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
