Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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