im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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