We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
