i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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