when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
